just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
