So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize