From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
