My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
