there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
