Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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