this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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