you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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