Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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