she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
