Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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