Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize