so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
