Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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