I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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