the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
