ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
