3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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