I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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