I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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