What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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