Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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