no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
