you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
