Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Where is the hickey?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
