did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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