we're blogging at a bar
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
where am i from again
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We have started to decorate penises.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
