Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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