Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
