god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
