You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
