the condom got lost in my hair
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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