Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Enjoy the penises
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
