Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
