the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
