nut hugger
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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