i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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