I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
