My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize