So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
ok first of all what the fuck
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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