I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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