used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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