No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
