Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
