it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
