Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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