Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
