I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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