why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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