That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Where is the hickey?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
