My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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