My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
