Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
