Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't turn off my feet"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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