He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
