It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
