Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
try to milk me bitch
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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