Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
