so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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