I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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