They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
