nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
