I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
