I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
