All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
