so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
