He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
