My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
