As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
