OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize