its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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