this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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