the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
