Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
