have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
