When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
