she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
