One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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