He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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