Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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