I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
