It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
